Chapter 17
Dan, Jessica Derek, Edward, Brandon, Sean and David were sitting at a table, in a Starbucks in Salem, clad in suits and ties, worn in a messy manner, with some shirts untucked, some suit jackets put on the seats, and all collars worn open with their ties loose.
Everyone who was sitting at the table had a disgust pulling at the expression on their faces, except for Jessica and Dan, who were busily making out.
"Dan," Brandon said, "you've been kissing her for four days straight."
"Please guys," David said, "Give it a rest. It took the entire Salem Police Riot Squad to keep you two apart for when you were going up to the stand. It took a team of ten hypnotists to force the answers out of you, too."
"Yeah," Edward said, "why don't you just have sex and get it out of your system?"
Dan held up a middle finger to Edward, as he busily made out with his girlfriend.
Sean shook his head, and said, "I just don't get people like that. I mean, things might just be going smooth for making out every waking moment of their lives when they meet, but if one thing happens, they'll be torn apart like a couple going on Temptation Island, with much heartbreak."
"They deserve to be torn apart," Edward said, "If they volunteer to go on a show with those goals. I couldn't stand having every waking moment of my experience on such a stupid show be recorded and put out as a part of national television."
"It's ratings, man, ratings," Sean said.
"They way I see, it," David began, "is that dating is a lot like trying to download MP3's off of Morpheous: you have to try many, many different selections before you find one that works."
Derek leaned over to the others, and whispered, "I think I know how to get them to stop."
The guys looked over, and eagerly awaited Derek's solution to be thrown into action.
"I don't think we should antagonize Dan and Jessica," Derek said "their making out actually turns me on."
Dan and Jessica let out disgusted grunts, and pulled themselves away from each other, and moving their seats away from each other, hastily. Dan took a sip of his Coffee, which barely qualified as luke warm. In fact, both Dan's and Jessica's coffees were about the C-'s of being luke warm. We're talking 49.5% here.
The guys gave a suppressed cheer, and David was about to high five Derek, when David pulled his hand away from the high five.
They all sat around the table with an uneasy spell of silence around them.
"Well," Brandon said, breaking the silence, "It's a long drive back to Cooksdale. I think I better start moving."
The others began to agree, and they gathered up their suit jackets, and finished off their coffees, and throwing the cups away afterward. Dan and Jessica took their coffees, and walked out of the Starbucks, holding hands, with the sparkles of love shining in their eyes. They were so snatched up in their mawkishness that they failed to realise that the posse were hiding in the bushes, watching their every move.
"Let's follow them home," Brandon whispered, "and maybe we'll witness them having the sex."
Sean replied with, "Dan having the sex? Who knew such things could be?"
"Seeing is believing," Brandon said, tracking Dan and Jessica's movements as they went into Dan's Honda Civic.
As the two lovers went into the car, and the Civic pulled out of the parking lot, the posse ran over to Edward's car, and Brandon's pick-up. They followed Dan home on the highway, keeping their distance.
Dan pulled into his driveway, noticing that his garage was empty.
"Perfect," Dan said.
"What's perfect," Jessica asked Dan.
"The fact that nobody's here," Dan said, as he moved over to plant a kiss on her lips. The kiss inspired the two, romantically, and they started making out. And making out. And making out. And making out and making out and making out and making out and making out.
"Damn it," Brandon said, holding up binoculars, observing them, "When are they going to ditch their clothes, and start the act?"
"I'm out of here," Sean said, getting out of Brandon's Pick-up.
Dan and Jessica finally managed to separate themselves from each other. Dan and Jessica walked over to the door of his house. Dan observed Jessica as she walked, as her womanly hips swung, and her gorgeous body gracefully floated across the earth. Dan let her in, still in disbelief that he found such a beautiful woman, even though he had, almost constantly, been making out with her.
Jessica walked up the stairs, and towards Dan's bedroom.
Yes, Dan thought in his head, I'm finally going to have the sex!
Jessica walked into his room, and was about to close the door in front of him.
"Wait right here," Jessica said, "there's something I want to show you."
Yes, Dan thought, Jessica's letting me have the sex with her!
Dan could hear Jessica give out little excited giggles. He paced about the hall outside his room, waiting for what may be next.
He turned around, excited, and saw the door to his bedroom open. But, suddenly, the excitement drained from his face, and so did all the blood, as his jaw went agape, and he stood there, transited from excited to pure shock.
"Oh my god, Jessica," Dan said, devoid of any emotion.
"It's time for your discipline, little boy," Jessica said, devilishly.
She was clad in black leather spandex, with a cat-o-nine tails in her hand.
"This is not the way I wanted to loose my virginity," Dan said, still completely horrified.
From outside the house, one could hear a massive whip crack, followed by a scream inspired by complete agony and unrestrained pain and the massive sting of such a whip.
"That must hurt," Brandon said, observing the painful situation from outside, with a sour expression on his face.